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‘The Teacher Hates Me’: Getting Better Outcomes when Discussing Behaviour with a Middle School Student

2 hour through to a full-day Workshop


To book this workshop please contact Bill Hansberry

No teacher likes hearing that students think they are picking on them. Even we teachers are sensitive souls who would prefer to be liked! When young people think we don't like them, it signals that the teacher-student relationship has broken down or never existed.

However, good teaching isn't a popularity contest! Young people don't always have to agree with what we do. Believing that it's our job to please kids puts us in a permissive space; this doesn't work in classrooms. What serves young people best is a teacher working from an authoritative space – where Restorative Practice lives and breathes.  


This workshop is dedicated to the values and strategies that work best when we need to have a conversation with a student about the inappropriateness of their behaviour. Often, this conversation will follow some form of disciplinary referral.


Many teachers shy away from following up with young people after referring them to senior staff to 'be disciplined'. It's understandable! These types of conversations take a heavy emotional toll, and teachers have to be at their emotional best, particularly when the young person involved is struggling to see the issue from the perspective of others or just isn't good at owning their behaviour! When these conversations don't go as we had hoped, it's all too easy to puff out our chest, put our hands on our hips and remind the young person involved why they should respect our authority and what will happen if they don't! The result is less understanding and more disciplinary referrals; the student may even fail the subject. Everybody loses.


Over the years, Bill has compiled and refined what he calls ‘The 6 Tips’.These six concepts take teachers through what they can think, say and do, giving them the best chance of helping a young person to own their behaviour and see the teacher as an advocate, not the enemy! These six tips have been drawn from areas such as:

  • Cognitive Behaviour Therapy

  • The work of Bill Rogers

  • Restorative Practice

  • Ethical Influence (Cialdini)

  • Affect Theory (Tomkins)

  • Reintegrative Shame Theory (Braithwaite)


Bill brings these theories together to help teachers deconstruct and reconstruct this crucial skill-set of following up and following through with a young person after things have gone wrong.

“An engaging presentation, hands on and direct. Bill was excellent as a facilitator.”


Head of House - Mount Carmel College SA.

We have books and resources available.

Check out our SHOP. 

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